How One Amputee Golfer Turned Loss Into Love — On and Off Course
Reading Time: 4 minutes
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Summary:
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Amputee golfer Meredith Dwyer waited until date three to reveal her leg amputation
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Brett Gray already knew and let her tell him on her own terms
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Gray now caddies for Dwyer at the U.S. Adaptive Open, her second year running
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Dwyer trains for discus and shot put alongside her golf career
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How do you know if someone will love all of you, including the parts you’re afraid to show them? Meredith Dwyer found her answer on a third date, after gathering a lot of courage.
The disclosure dilemma
Dwyer from Teaneck, New Jersey, was born with a clubfoot that required eight surgeries over eight years. She eventually chose to amputate below the knee to avoid ongoing corrective procedures.
By the time she connected with Brett Gray, she had already experienced the challenges of being visibly disabled in public. Before meeting Gray, she shared with GOLF that a stranger had taken photos of her and made leering comments on the New York City subway. This incident taught her to quickly read people’s intentions and made her cautious about when and how to reveal her amputation to someone she was beginning to like.
When she matched with Gray on a dating app, she didn’t conceal her amputation—her profile displayed both pre- and post-amputation photos—but she didn’t highlight it either. She planned to explain everything on the first date, but she liked him too much to risk it. As a result, the truth kept getting pushed to the next time.
Their second date took place at Topgolf, where she wrestled with how to share her leg issue. Dwyer confidently drove a 300-yard shot—her first since her surgery—though Gray was unaware of both her leg and what that moment meant for her.
“Next time” turned out to be their third date. Frustrated with the tension, Dwyer asked him directly if he planned to bring up her leg. Gray admitted he had already noticed it from her profile photos and had been waiting for her to decide when to talk about it. He told her he already knew and wanted her to tell him when she was ready.
Proof, over time
Their relationship became the foundation for Dwyer’s competitive golf career. Gray now caddies for Dwyer at tournaments, including the U.S. Adaptive Open last July 2026—her second year in a row participating in the event.
Her playing style depends less on raw power and more on timing and momentum, influenced by the use of a prosthetic leg that can vary in stability and comfort during a round, especially in heat and humidity. Gray’s role on the bag is less about club selection and more about helping her maintain composure between shots. This dynamic reflects the same patience that helped him navigate those early, uncertain weeks of dating.
In the adaptive golf community, Dwyer now views a below-knee amputation as a relatively minor hurdle compared to what other adaptive athletes endure—an outlook she admits didn’t come naturally but now influences how she discusses her own game.
What the limb loss made room for
Dwyer isn’t stopping at golf. She’s also training in discus and shot put, aiming for Paralympic competition, with support from a training team in New Jersey and California. Gray, a former high school shot putter and discus thrower, plays a dual role—providing technical support and offering the same steadiness he brings to her golf bag.
While none of this replaces what she lost, her experiences helped her realize that with the right people, the parts she feared revealing are often the ones worth showing first. For Dwyer, that fear became a training partner, a caddie, and a life built with someone who didn’t see her leg as an obstacle but as simply a part of her.
Related Reading:
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Dating After Limb Loss: What to Expect
Learning How to Embrace Love With Confidence
10-Year-Old Boy Excited to Play Golf with New Prosthetic Arm
